Talking about your Ex's is a great way to kill off a relationship before it starts. If you find yourself in this tricky situation, here are some tips on how to handle it.

Imagine that you're on a first date. You're both a bit nervous, trying to make conversation, trying to determine whether there's chemistry, and then they ask you, "So tell me about your last relationship?" So you tell them—about the infidelity, the divorce proceedings, the stalking, the restraining orders, the years of therapy. Pretty soon they're waving for the waiter—check please! Okay, maybe the truth isn't that dramatic, but any potential negativity about a past love affair can leave someone wondering if you have the ability to be in a relationship now.

"Isn't honesty the best policy?" you wonder. Well, of course it is! But the difference between discretion and full disclosure could be the difference between, "It was great meeting you! Goodbye and good luck!" and, "It was great meeting you. I'd love to see you again!" The first date is not only an opportunity to see if there is enough chemistry to warrant a second date, it is a bit of a fact-finding mission as well. The basic fact that needs to come across is that you are a well-adjusted, happy person who is capable of a healthy relationship Too much information about your past relationships could cause a red flag to go up in your date's mind and end a promising relationship before it has a chance to begin.

So how do you deal with the dreaded question about a past relationship without seeming evasive or raising any red flags? In a word, keep it simple! Stivk to the bare facts. If someone asks about your last relationship, you can say something like, "Oh, it ended about six months ago. We were together two years. Unfortunately things just didn't work out." Then smile and smoothly change the subject. Never mind that he was a verbally abusive control-freak who still lived with his mother. Disclosing that would be too much information—and could lead to the "Check please!" scenario described above.

The first couple of dates are a time to put your best foot forward and portray yourself as a positive person and an attractive candidate for a long-term relationship. You want your relationship to be like a rose—slowly budding, gently opening and unfolding over the course of time. Too much sun or water can cause a rose to wither and die, just as too much information can weigh down a budding relationship and prevent it from blooming. Of course, this is easier said than done.